How to Remain Stress Free During the Holidays

I recently had a conversation with a friend about stress where we spoke about her negative experience with it especially around the holidays.  She wanted to know how best I handled holiday stress.  In my response I started by telling her that she was not alone in how she was feeling.  Even though there is this general idea that holiday gatherings are supposed to be pleasant and stress –free that is usually not the case.  The holidays actually offer plenty of reasons to be stressed out and anxious – there are the gifts that you haven’t brought yet, the gifts you haven’t wrapped, the holiday party invites that you have yet to RSVP for, the family dinner that you are hosting, and the obligations that will come from that family dinner that have got you feeling anxious.  I offered a few tips with my friend that I also want to share with you to address and to help you better handle that holiday anxiety/stress.

The first tip that I offer many experts will back me up on it and that’s to take control.  According to experts many feel during the holidays like they are out of control.  For instance, you may find the family obligations of the holidays to be too much.  You have to host and lodge your family of 6 in a very small two bedroom apartment, you have to make the turkey whole even though that’s not your strong suite, and you have to make sure that you cleaned the house from top to bottom so that you do not get any commentary from the parents.

Stop right there! Do you really have to lodge and host your family dinner?  If you lodge the family perhaps you can go out for a nice holiday dinner since you are working with such a small living space. Well whatever your scenario or situation may actually be you want to weigh the pros and cons of why you are doing that particular tradition so that you can see that you do have a choice.

The next tip I want to offer I have titled elevate your perspective because I want you to challenge your assumptions in this stage.  If you did the holidays differently this year what would happen?  What if you didn’t invite to host and lodge your family for the Christmas holiday, or cook a whole turkey?  What if inviting to host wasn’t such a big deal? And what if cooking a whole turkey was instead making little Cornish Hens?  The key here is to be very self-aware of the things you are doing.  Do not just do them just to do them.  If old traditions are making you stressed, think about doing something different.  Lastly I want you to avoid the 4 don’ts for the holidays.

• Don’t do the same old thing – self-explanatory right if the same old thing isn’t working try something different.
• Don’t expect miracles – if your family stress stems from deeper history and family conflict don’t expect to resolve those underlying issues in the midst of the holidays.
• Don’t overdo it – To reduce the stress do not overdue things, try instead to pace yourself and to set limits. Go to one holiday party instead of two and opt not to stay so late.
• Don’t worry how things ought to be – Don’t compare yourself to what a perfect family ought to be. Except your family for who and where you all are.  If that’s having a less than perfect holiday gathering then that is okay….we can always aim to have a better one next year.

I hope you found these tips to be helpful.  May your holidays be less than stressful? Until next time. Take care and be true.