As a parent, I can honestly say that I want the best for my child. I want my child to grow up and live a happy and fulfilling life. However, there have been many times when I have and I am sure many others have questioned some of our parenting choices. The big question often times is are we or aren’t we doing this whole parenting thing right. The truth is our dreams, hopes and fears about parenting very well may never go away but we ought to be comforted in knowing that we don’t have to rely on hope alone. There are plenty of science based roadmaps on how to raise well rounded and emotionally intelligent children. In this blog post we are going to learn some tips on how to raise emotionally intelligent children, children who are equipped with intellectual skills needed to succeed in school and life.
Listen patiently; often times all your child really needs is to be heard. Once a little person is able to release their emotions, he or she can move on. But in order to for your child to feel like they can share you have to be fully present to listen. And before you jump to solve the problem it is best to just listen.
Put a name to feelings
Since young children are still building on their vocabulary it is best at every opportune time to encourage your child to build an emotional vocabulary by providing him or her with labels of their feelings as you mimic them back to him or her. For instance, if your child seems disappointed because he or she didn’t get to go to “Chuck e Cheese” you can then say, “I noticed that you are feeling said and that is okay”
Do not and I repeat do not dismiss your child’s emotions. You always want to encourage them to just feel their emotions. To express ones emotions is the best way to overcome that said feeling. If your child decides he or she wants to be emotional or to feel negative emotions, allow it, because it is all a part of growing up. Make sure you are taking that know fact into account before you go to disregard their feelings or lead them to believe that their feelings are bad. What will consequently happen is it will send to your child the message that he or she is bad and that perception can often stay with a child into adulthood.
Choose to connect in the wake of negative emotions
When your child is experiencing negative emotions utilize that time as a chance to connect, to grow, and to heal. It’s often difficult for children to control their emotions right? That is why it is important at every opportunity to stay loving, compassionate, and kind. If you find that your child is frustrated because they couldn’t wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and consequently wet the bed, then try saying something like, “I noticed that you are frustrated, I completely get it.” Let them know that you can understand where they are coming from.
Encourage your child to set limits and to problem solve
Very early on in our child’s development we should be encouraging them that they are capable of self-regulating themselves especially in a world that seems unfair. At every opportunity remind them that all emotions are acceptable but all behaviors are not. A great example of setting limits all while problem solving would be to say, “I realize you are upset, but it is not okay to hit. How can we better express our feelings without hitting next time?” With this example your child can begin to think of alternative ways to navigate their feelings all while knowing that not all behaviors are acceptable.
When you are a parent you can feel defeated and unappreciated at times because it is a challenging and never ending job. If you try the tips suggested, your child will have the tools needed to navigate through school and life. As always, I thank you for reading. Until next time, take care and be true.